9 Questions to Ask Your Fiancé(e) Before You Tie the Knot

Getting married isn’t a decision to be made lightly. While the movies may make it seem like it’s all spontaneity and romance, there’s a lot more to it than a beautiful diamond ring and the right amount of butterflies in your stomach.

For the record, we’re not trying to rain on your parade. We’re simply trying to shelter you from any future downpours before they occur. (See what we did there?)

So before you say “I do,” be sure to ask each other these important Do you…? questions to ensure you’re marrying Mr. or Mrs. Right (for you). Because if you’re not on the same page today, you may find yourself navigating some very challenging waters after the honeymoon period wears off.

Do you…

1. … want to live near my family, yours… or neither?

This may not seem like a big deal if you’re from the same area, but if you met during your post-secondary years, or during time spent abroad, this question can be more important than you think. Because while this may not cross your mind while you’re young and adventurous, you may start to care a little more when your parents start getting older, or if you decide to have children and wish to raise them near their grandparents. Which leads to Question #2. (Or if both of you have strained relationships with your family, you may want to talk about getting away – and where the ideal destination might be.)

2. … want children?

This is a biggie. If one of you has dreamed of having children your whole life, and the other has no interest in reproducing, this could mean game over. Just as importantly, if you want a big family, but your soon-to-be-spouse is happy with a ‘one and done’ scenario, this is something you should be talking about before saying your vows. Children are a big commitment – and not something you should be negotiating after you’ve said “I do.”

3. … have the same political views as me?

It may be hard to think that voting on one side of the political spectrum versus the other could come in between you and your great love. But as we become older, we become more set in our ways (and stubborn about our views) – so something that doesn’t faze you now could lead to arguments down the road. Not to mention, if your partner supports a political party that takes a position on human rights that you don’t agree with, you may want to ask yourself if you’ve found your perfect match.

4. … have any debt?

If you and your partner plan to buy a home in the near future, this is a conversation that you’ll want to have before you apply for a mortgage. While student loans and a reasonable amount of credit card debt are part of life, excessive debt that will impact your long-term financial goals may turn out to be a big, red flag.

5. … have any investments?

Not everyone is financially savvy enough to invest from a young age, but most Canadians will, at the very least, have an RRSP or TFSA. If your soul mate is, in fact, a stale mate when it comes to long-term financial planning, you may want to know this before you invest in a wedding that may cost you tens of thousands of dollars of (apparently) your savings. If they’re willing to set their records straight, you may want to book an appointment with an expert to get some guidance on things like high-yield savings accounts, pension options, and life insurance as good investments for your future.

6. … have life insurance?

You have no plans for your fiancé(e) to die anytime soon – we get it. But the reality is, purchasing life insurance is one of the best ways to protect the love of your life – not to mention, buying when you are young and healthy will be the most affordable in your lifetime. That way, if you lovebirds DO end up buying your dream house and one of you were to pass suddenly, the other would be able to afford the house you turned into a home together. And if you plan to have children, it becomes even more important to be able to maintain your lifestyle in the event of someone’s early passing.

7. … have a will?

Most young people don’t tend to worry about this sort of thing, but it’s those big life events like getting married, buying a house, and having children (including fur babies) that call for this type of legal documentation. The good news is, if you’re a Serenia Life member, you can apply for a free digital will via our partner Willful©, and get it drafted in 20 minutes or less. Have more complex needs? You may want to take advantage of our conventional wills benefit.

8. … wish to sign a pre-nuptial agreement?

This type of document has always been considered a romance killer, but there’s always the chance that your future self will thank you in the event your marriage doesn’t turn out the way you had planned. We won’t mention the ‘d’ word, but rates in Canada are at just under 40% so it never hurts to consider this sort of important document.

9. … want a big wedding or would you rather elope?

Okay, back to the romantic stuff… unless, of course, the two of you have very different ideas of your dream wedding! Before you announce on social media, make sure you’re on the same page about things like location, budget, and number of guests – so that you aren’t debating the finer details when you should be enjoying planning for the big event. You’d be surprised at how the cost of a wedding cake can cause even the warmest of couples to feel temporarily icy towards one another.

Well, now that you’ve answered all the big questions, you can go and plan for the big day – and even more importantly – the lifetime that follows.

Congratulations!

Ready to act on Question #6? Reach out to a Serenia Life advisor or fill out this short form to get the ball rolling.