Consider Connecting With a Therapist this New Year
For too many of us, the New Year bring feelings of sadness as we long for loved ones who are no longer here, or experience grief related to other losses.
By Jennifer G. McKechnie, MSW, RSW, Psychotherapist
With the arrival of a new year often comes the desire to make resolutions. Frequently, those resolutions involve refocusing attention on our health and well-being. For some, this may look like renewing a dusty gym membership, while for others, it could mean taking on a couch to 5k program.
Health and well-being resolutions, however, may not fall solely to the number on a scale or the inches of our waist. For too many of us, the New Year bring feelings of sadness as we long for loved ones who are no longer here, or experience grief related to other losses (job loss or the end of a marriage, for instance).
For these individuals, a refocus on health and well-being this new year may not involve physical exercise, but instead may be an exercise in healing through loss and prioritizing their mental health. One way to do this is by connecting with a therapist to learn how to live with feelings of grief.
If this sounds like you, here are some things to consider
- It’s important that you feel a connection with your therapist. Asking yourself to talk about big feelings with someone who makes you uncomfortable will not be helpful. Do not be afraid to interview therapists before settling on one in particular – and don’t worry about the cost since most therapists offer a free consultation in order for you to do just that.
- Keep in mind that we are all unique. Friends or family may have a favourite therapist to recommend, but what may have been helpful for them may or may not be helpful for you. Be sure not to let one not-so-great experience with a therapist cloud your view of therapy in general.
- Consider what you are hoping to get out of the experience. The loss of a loved one is a significant event that can involve many complex feelings. Therapy is not a magic wand capable of making difficult feelings disappear. It can be an opportunity to learn how to be comfortable living with those feelings – both in our mind and in our body. It may also be an opportunity to learn about yourself after a loss.
- For some, losing a loved one may have been a traumatic event. Symptoms of this may include regular rumination over the loss, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, feelings of depression or anxiety, or other issues that affect day-to-day functioning. If this is the case, ensuring that any possible therapist you work with has undergone training in trauma becomes very important.
- Therapy is most effective when done in conjunction with other efforts around well-being. I often encourage my clients to be curious about their sleep routines, their appetite and digestion, time spent outside, gentle forms of movement, and connection with supportive humans and/or furry friends.
- Consider joining a bereavement support group if you’re not comfortable with the idea of one-on-one therapy. Cities often have local groups that meet to discuss their experiences of loss and grief. Many people find the camaraderie offered in these groups to be supportive and helpful. The best part? They’re usually free!
Whatever you resolve to do this year, take some time to consider how you can create space and time to do it. And remember, you don’t have to get it perfect! Just keep trying – and notice if your physical or mental exercise comes with any benefits.
Also know that health-related resolutions can feel like hard work at the start. Give them some time to settle in as a habit, and that hard work will begin feeling a bit less hard!
Happy New Year!
Editor’s Note: We provide up to $1,000 in bereavement counselling to a Serenia Life member’s beneficiaries. Learn more
About the Author
Jennifer G. McKechnie is a trauma therapist working with both children and adults. Jennifer utilizes interventions such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, as well as Polyvagal Theory in her work. She values ongoing learning as a key part of maintaining and growing her practice. When away from the office, Jennifer incorporates self-regulation techniques into her day by connecting with nature through running, as well as spending time with her partner and pets.
