Why Everyone Needs Empathy After a Loss
It's been just over a year since I lost one of the best dads on the planet.
My dad was fiercely loving and loyal, well-read and well-spoken, always around to play when we were little and always there for us once we were grown. With his contagious laugh and genuine joie de vivre, he was a favourite with small children – his two grandsons in particular – his many friends, and his large extended family.
Perhaps not surprisingly, he is dearly missed by everyone who was lucky enough to have had him in their life.
If the above sounds a like I pulled it from his obituary, it’s mainly because it’s hard not to list all the good qualities of a good person once they’re gone.
Speaking of obituaries, writing one was just one of the many things my mother, brother, and I needed to take care of after my dad passed away. Because we are a family of English teachers, readers, and writers, this was one of the many items on a very long to-do list that came easily to us. But I know that writing something like this can be an extremely daunting task for many people.
For my mom – who, to her credit, took on most of the tasks on that very long list – it was probably the administrative, financial, and practical stuff that consumed most of her time and drained so much of her energy. Things like planning the service, closing accounts under his name, and claiming his life insurance were just a few of the items that she needed to get done. But truly, there was a lot more.
It seems so unfair that those in mourning are required to do so much while adjusting to life without the person they love.
That’s where empathy comes in. In more ways than one.
Not only do we need the people in our lives – our friends, neighbours, colleagues, and extended family – to empathize with the stress we are experiencing in addition to the loss we are mourning, but in my opinion, we also need Empathy.
Empathy is a service I only learned about quite recently – and only because the company I work for (Serenia Life!) has partnered with them to provide grief support to a member’s grieving loved ones.
It’s the convenience of an app with the human touch of, well, humans. Registered beneficiaries are connected with a dedicated Care Manager who can help them sort out everything: from funeral planning, to final taxes, to, yes, writing an obituary. But they aren’t just there to help with the practical challenges – they can also connect those in mourning with the mental health support they need in order to cope with the emotional challenges that follow a loss.
I know my mom would have appreciated something like this to help her through the day to day. And while my brother and I stepped in as often as we could, neither of us had the expertise required when it came to the many legal, financial, and administrative tasks we learned were necessary after a loved one dies.
Knowing that this app is available to myself and my husband (as Serenia Life members/beneficiaries) if one of us were to die too soon takes a huge weight off my shoulders. It’s the peace of mind that comes with knowing both of us will be taken care of when we’re at our most vulnerable.
If, like me, you hadn’t heard of Empathy before this, I recommend learning more about this amazing benefit – available at no cost to Serenia Life beneficiaries!
And, if like me, you recently suffered a loss but don’t have access to the Empathy app, I invite you to browse our Coping With Loss series, and read browse through a number of helpful articles written by a mental health expert.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kathleen O’Hagan is the Digital Content Strategist & Writer at Serenia Life. She is married with one kid and two cats, and enjoys travel, discovering new restaurants, and idealizing life in the 80s and 90s. (Yes, she bought life insurance for her son – it’s an investment in his future! And yes, her pets are in her will.)
